Using proper English - Monty Python
"Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the
English language today is the word fuck.
Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter "F",
Fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word.
It's the one magical word, just by its sound can describe
Pain, pleasure, hate, and love.
Fuck, as most words in the English language,
Is derived from German, the verb "ficken", which means to strike.
In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories.
As a transitive verb for instance:
"John fucked Shirley"
As an intransitive verb:
"Shirley fucks"
It's meaning's not always sexual.
It can be used as an adjective such as:
"John's doing all the fucking work"
As part of an adverb:
"Shirley talks to fucking much"
As an adverb enhancing an adjective:
"Shirley is fucking beautiful"
As a noun:
"I don't give a fuck"
As part of a word:
"Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible"
And, as almost every word in a sentence:
"Fuck the fucking fuckers"
As you must realize there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck.
As in these examples, describing situations,
Such as fraud:
"I got fucked at the used car lot"
Dismay:
"Oh, fuck it"
Trouble:
"I guess I'm really fucked now"
Aggression:
"Don't fuck with me buddy"
Difficulty"
"I don't understand this fucking question"
Inquiry:
"Who the fuck was that?"
Dissatisfaction:
"I don't like what the fuck is going on here"
Incompetence:
"He's a fuck off"
Dismissal:
"Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself"
I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all of these multipurpose applications,
How can anyone be offended when you use the word?!
We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly...
"Fuck you!"
Top Ten Times in History When The 'F' Word Was Appropriate
10. "What the f*** was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima, August 1945
9. "Where did all these f***ing Indians come from?" - General Custer, 1877
8. "Any f***ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
7. "It does SO f***ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
6. "How the f*** did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
4. "I don't suppose it's gonna f***ing rain." - Joan of Arc, 1434
3. "Scattered f***ing showers...my ass!" - Noah, 314 BC
2. "I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in my head!" -
JFK, 1963
and the number one time in history where the "F" word was appropriate...
1. "Aw c'mon, who the f*** is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton, 1997
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